Now that we have that out of the way, what’s next? Well of course there's self-pity, depressing sobs, expensive shrinks, copious amounts of drinking and self-help books. And when all that gets old, there is also this new fad called, "volunteering." I believe it's "volunteering" or "yollenteering," It might be a soft "v." I'm not sure, but apparently you just work...for free! It's supposed to be wild.
Ron Burgundy says, "stay classy...unemployed!"Right now it’s time to realize this golden opportunity. Yaweh, Allah, Jesus, Buddha, Madonna, whoever you believe really, has just thrown you a bone....
Stay with me here, I know what you are thinking.
Four months ago, the world was spinning into the toilet, but at least I still had a job. Granted the worst job in the world, but a job nonetheless. So naturally I immediately commenced consuming copious amounts of alcohol with my best friend. For those who know us, this is not unordinary, but this time was different...
I myself had just finished a run-of-the-mill horrible day at work, which ended with my boss telling me all the ways I sucked, what she did and continues to do best. (Second opinion: For the record, he didn't suck at his job, he was actually pretty good at it!)
My friend's day really crushed mine though. The powers that be at his work let him know it wasn’t really going to happen, and even stooped to use the ultimate break up excuse gone bad:
"It's not us, it's you."
can you say ouch?
A couple months later, I was asked to leave my company, on New Year’s Eve no less (total douche bag move I must say).
Today we are gradually learning the ropes of the great life that can be had after one has been liberated from the chains of employment. Like Dante's Divine Comedy, I too will not miss the other layers of hell I used to refer to as my "job." And also like Dante's Divine Comedy, it's SO not funny.
In an effort to keep myself and those around me from that volaitle concoction of total boredom and pure insanity, I have started a blog to chronicling my life and situation. To those who may be suffering, bewildered or scared, I offer my wisdom on how to navigate the horrors of the unemployment office, COBRA, getting your finances in order, and how to get your friends to pay for drinks.
This blog will highlight this rare gift of freedom as much as possible, while also dealing with the practical issues of unemployment. Hopefully it can help you or someone you know work through this strange transitional period that most everyone has deal with, (at the very least, please enjoy the pretty pictures.)
Feel free to post any suggestions, rants, laundry lists, or haikus that might compell you, (please no bomb threats)
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