The art of unemployed networking

While hanging out what appeared to be a relaxing coffee shop,
Sip & Kranz, I was looking forward to enjoying a double cappuccino and leisurely observing passersbys. Unfortunately I was violently jerked from my mid-day meditation due to the shrill screams of some bastard child being forced into the shop by his 45-year old, dressed like a 25-year old yuppie mother!


For a brief but memorable period I entertained the idea that working might not be the worst thing in the world...employment at a crappy job sure tops listening to that kid all day!


Then it starts to wash over me...however crappy a job may or may not be, I still should probably find one. The resume thing has been done, the online search engine thing has been done, I read on CNN about someone who gave out t-shirts with their resume printed on them. If you want a job in this world, you've gotta step it up a bit. I had no intention of making my resume into t-shirts, but it seems like today every person in the world knows someone looking for work or is desperately seeking employment themselves. If you found a job posting, so have thousands of others. Congratulations! You just applied to become a pile of resumes on someone's desk about to meet the recycle bin! If by some fate you do get to the top of that slush pile, how do you compete with the overwhelming amount of former CEO's and CFO's for that middle management gig that offering less than the one you just left? It's a nutty rat race out there. I predict you will end up a bloody wreck with no more than a thousand generic rejection letters and a hatred for everything but 40's of Old E and shopping carts.



During those brief seconds of thought I had a revelation about finding a job, all while staring at this screaming rug rat, (random I know). Every job I have obtained and lost previous to now I got because I knew someone. I knew someone at Enterprise. I knew everyone at Delta Sigma Phi. I always knew the right people in college. So that's what it comes to! You can have a great resume filled with all kinds of euphemisms and impressive descriptions of your background and what makes you the impressive catch you are, but if you do not have an ear with someone actually inside it, you are just another piece of tree.

So, my advice for you?

Start with your closest network, your friends and family. Call everyone you know and make sure they understand exactly what you are looking for, and make sure they all have a copy of your resume saved on their hard drive. You will not find anyone with a more vested interest in your well-being than these folks. Next? Go to every social event you can. Be it an Elks pancake feed, country club meals with your girlfriend's grandparents, or drinking with some old buddies. You have nothing to wake up for in the morning so get out! But it is imperative that you make sure everyone else is having fun. This is key. Not only will it bring more attention to you (in a good way, please) but they will remember you as "that fun outgoing guy that is currently looking for a new career." Just don't overdo the drinking or you will be "that drunk guy that needs to find an AA meeting" and people will need to help you for the wrong reasons.



You are your best advertisement. A real life resume, (hopefully without the t-shirt). Don't be afraid to talk about your unemployedness! Don't forget that your working buddies love to hear about all the great things you get to do now and they most likely envy your life. Maybe even so much they want you to get a job in order to rain on your good times and draw you back into their miserable working world!



If after a few months of getting out in the world and meeting everyone you can doesn't land you some leads, two things might be wrong. For starters, you could possibly smell like sweaty feet....this might be why you are unemployed to begin with! Shower and use deodorant. Or maybe you just aren't the having-fun type? Hell, I don't know? I am still unemployed after 3 months and I think I am pretty fun! However, working the rounds of my network has found a me few leads in addition to getting me closer to some lost friends, and has presented the opportunity to meet new ones!



Well, now little Timmy or whatever that devil child's name is has stopped screaming and I have returned to drinking my PBR and starring at passersby....



If you know of any opportunities out there for us unemployed to meet new people and do a bit of networking please let us know by posting the dates/time/location here. It's better than a screaming brat devil child!